So listen. During his last visit, I heard my Dad tell my daughter, "Your mother has been glittering up the place since she was two years old- this ain't nothing new." I had just been gifted a pair of rainbow-tinseled boots that made my LIFE! I didn't realized he'd noticed. I never realized that even my Dad had been aware of my love for sparkle and glamour since forever. Those words made me smile. Those words made me chuckle. More than anything, though, those words inspired me. I was inspired to finally launch (or should I say RE-launch) my blog! Welcome, My Loves, to Dark Glitter: The Good, The Bad, and What I Wore.
August, 29, 2018
“Brenton, I'm really going to do it. I'm counting down. For the next five days, I'm going to post a picture of an outfit. On the fifth day, I'm going to launch my blog: Dark Glitter.”
I said this to my husband last year. Last August. Six months ago. Six months later and still no blog. Was I lazy? Yes. Was I overwhelmed? A bit. Was I intimidated? Absolutely.
Your Worst Enemy: Self-Doubt
You know how they say you are your biggest critic? How, even when something seems like a good idea (and all of the support is there), but, you still look for a reason why it's not? Kind of like when you take the perfect selfie, but then you stare at it for hours until it becomes ugly? Well, that's what I had going on. For months, I kept taking pictures of myself. Posting them. Hashtagging #darkglitter. I had friends (and strangers) approaching me saying "Ma'am! When is this blog dropping?!" I'd just smile and say, "Any day now..." Truth was, however, even though I wanted that to be the case- there was no way I was dropping anything "any day now". In my head, I had deemed myself unworthy. Even though plenty of people expressed interest and excitement- I felt defeated before I even began. I let the few negative comments (literally two) overshadow the positive ones. Probably because I was LOOKING for a reason as to why I shouldn't have been blogging in the first place. You know what thoughts filled my head? Who are you? Why do you think people will care about what you have on? Why would people care what you think is "hot" or "not"? I battled with this for a while. Paralyzed myself. I kept myself from doing something that I've always wanted to do, by letting doubt set in. So, I tabled it. For a long time. My husband would encourage me. My Mom would encourage me. Friends would encourage me. The antagonist, though, was me. I had to step outside of myself and think for a second (more like six months). I began to think about the things that I'd tell my daughter all the time: "You know what you're good at." "Do what you love." "Never, ever, dim your own light because there are plenty of people who will try to do that for you!" So, today? After a quick reminder from my Dad, I'm sitting down at the table where I'd previously rested plenty of my dreams and goals. Who's to say what comes next? Who's to say where things will go? I don't know what's to come, but I'm gonna sparkle, baby, and I think you should probably do the same. Stop letting things, people, fear, worry, doubt- stop letting these things hold you back from what you are truly destined to do. Live. Love. Shine. You were made for this.
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